Interesting

So, today. hm. Interesting and amazing things happened. Oh and some, well one gross thing.


Well, for the gross thing: I sliced my finger on a knife today. I wish my reaction could have been videotaped. I cut it and even before the pain hit I RAN to my bathroom yelling, oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. Blood gushing, and me crying were the best parts. It didn't hurt, but the funny thing was the reason why I was crying was because I HATE blood and it makes me wanna puke. Oh how lovely. I need cutting gloves or something....

Okay the interesting/AMAZING thing that happened today was that my friend Kevin that I'd been talking to for a long time about becoming a Christian told me tonight that he just recently accepted Christ. He thanked me for my help, and he sent me a Bible verse he said that he saw that reminded him of me, and it was my Hebrews 3:13 verse! TOTALLY a God thing. Praise the Lord, for another soul has been won! :)

I've been sitting in my room for the past 4 hours working on music, and I mini writers block right now. Hopefully some rest will do me good and prep me for some more writing tomorrow!

Dad and I wrote another song last night and I love it! Its way different than anything I have done, awe will hopefully get that recorded sometime this summer! I'm excited! :)

Let It Be

I know Lenon and McCartney weren't exactly role models but "Let it Be" did speak some truth.

"Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, there will be answer, let it be, let it be."

Sometimes we just need to "let it be" and let God deal with our situation. Although the writers may not have written it to be interpreted that way, in a way I am thankful that they did write it. There IS an "answer" even though we may not see it at the time, God does, and he knows what he is doing.

Right now I am going over the study of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and wow, its just as good as it was when I did it last year. Sometimes I just wish people would give it a chance and not "judge a book by it's cover." The book title in itself seems a bit extreme, but man, its some good stuff. Its purely about pleasing God, and ahh its just so good. So if you think you are up to the challenge, pick up this book. You will not be disappointed!

Future.

Rejection. Its what we all feared when we were young. Some may still fear it.
I've come to realize in my many failed relationships that I don't want someone that is like that in the aspect of Christ. So many guys are so afraid to truly show their colors; to stand out, to be real, to be vulnerable. Maybe that's why I haven't found that one that's really "wowed" me yet. And you know what? I'm totally okay with it. Patience in waiting is the best lesson that God has ever taught me.

I bring it up because its my hope for the future. Its amazing to think of what's yet to come and where the Lord will lead me. And the best thing is that I don't have to worry. :)

I was driving home to Nashville today and heard this song. Just before it started the radio announcer stated that this song was good for any prospective husbands. To me this is a prayer of a real man that is not afraid to be vulnerable. I love it.

"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"

-Sanctus Real
"Lead Me"

The Future.

I am so happy that the Lord's plans are different from my own. Had I followed my own ways, I know I wouldn't equal even a fraction of how happy I am now. Its just amazing to think that through it all, though all the things that I never thought I could get through, all the things that never seemed like they would work for good, HAVE in fact worked wonders in my life. Through MY weaknesses he is strong, through my faults he supplies lessons that have taught me so much over the years.

Finding God's will is more about just finding an "open door." Not every opportunity that is put before you is from God. If it is an opportunity that takes your eyes off the Lord, then it is not an opportunity from God.

From what I was studying this morning, it says to look for God's activity rather than the "open door." It says to look for God's activity and to go where he is at work.

Love So Amazing.

Love. Hm. There's so many variations of it these days. For me, the word has been so misused in society that I can't help but doing air quotes when I refer to it in that light.

Its outrageous how caught up we get in the world; in tv shows, magazines, other people, etc etc., that we start thinking that this modern day definition of "love" is true. Girls settling for much less than they deserve is what really hurts my heart. Relationship after relationship, they find a guy that treats them a little better than the guy before but never as good as they SHOULD be treated. The world says, "you need a boyfriend now!" and they make the detrimental mistake of listening, never truly taking the time to get to know themselves outside a relationship, without someone that they can hold on to. Girly romantic movies were what always did it for me. I would get caught up in the story, sweet and amazing, and would always be crying at the end because I didn't have that "happy ending" or that "amazing guy." That was my escape. Getting caught in the love story; loving it while it lasted, but by the end I would be brought back to the depressing realization that it was JUST a movie. That's what girls these days need to realize. There is a difference between movies and real life.

This is one of my favorite quotes from Joshua Harris's well known book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"

"The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and
romance play, and as we watch, the world says, “This is love.” God takes us to
the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, “This is
love."

Waiting seems to be the hardest thing. That was the hardest thing for me. Thinking that God had a plan for me and that area of my life that I just had to be patient about; gosh that was so overwhelming. But I can tell you this for sure: All of the little on and off 2 week, 3 week, 1 month "relationship" flings I was involved in could never amount to the fullness I have in Christ right now. Those relationships would just leave me unfulfilled, empty, and seeking more companionship, that was obviously not with Christ.

I'm really not going to lie. Giving up all of that stuff and fully submitting to the Lord was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. Not that I have ever smoked but I see it as the equivalent of what quitting smoking would feel like. (Like that new nicorette losenge commercial where the shark comes up and bites the man's arm, then they exclaim how much quitting sucks...haha) I will just say; it sucked, or at least I thought it did at the time. That was only because i knew nothing else. This, just like anything else that's new to someone, was in fact very strange to me. I kept going back thinking, "hm I wonder what it would be like to go back, and blah blah." That was Satan. I kept getting this constant thought in my mind of "You're alone, how pathetic." Satan again. I started getting more into the word, and established a quiet time every morning that I have grown so accustomed to, that I can't go one morning without it. I love that time so much.

Through those hard times in my life that I felt like I had no one, and that I felt I was nothing without a guy, I know 100% that that was Christ teaching me that he was the only "guy" that I needed! And its such a great feeling to know that I am complete with him. He is my other half.

Just to clear some things up girls, I'm not saying don't date. I'm simply saying that you need to learn to live without it for a season of your life, and spend that time with Christ. Relationships are good if they lead you to a better knowledge of Christ and enrich your relationship with him, and keep you on the right track, but gosh its so much deeper than that. I could go on all day about how a Godly relationship should be but I will save that for another day.

I just know that he takes certain times of our lives to teach us things so that eventually our will will line up with his. This precious time IS a gift from God. You may not see it in the beginning, but if you keep on the straight and narrow, you will eventually see that taking this time and focusing on God, rather than "when is that "one" going to come" will not only benefit you spiritually, but will also revolutionize your whole outlook on 'dating'. I can tell you from my perspective that I have honestly never been happier in my life since I decided to wait on the Lord's timing, and not my own, giving it all to him. :)

"Choosing to quit the dating game doesn’t mean rejecting friendship with the
opposite sex, companionship, romance, or marriage. We can still pursue those
things, we just choose to pursue them on God’s terms and in his time."
-Joshua Harris
I Kissed Dating Goodbye